The 3 Rs of a Rocking Relationship



We all grew up with the 3 Rs, the foundation of learning…reading, writing and arithmetic. I always found it odd that the Education community choose to call it the three Rs when only one actually starts with an R?!, but yes, they are the core skills needed to succeed in school.

Still, what about the core skills needed to succeed in a relationship?

In relationships, reactions seem to rule the day. Rational, well thought out responses to a situation are too often rare. Something happens and we react. Often not wisely.

Building your skills in the 3 Rs of relationship can change all that.

In psychology there is a term called cognitive reappraisal. It is defined as “an emotion regulation strategy that involves changing the trajectory of an emotional response by reinterpreting the meaning of the emotional stimulus.”

We could all use a little “emotion regulation strategy” sometimes, but when it comes to a relationship, we could likely use A LOT!

The 3 Rs That Can Make Your Relationship Rock

So if your reactions aren’t getting you the relationship you want, RECONSIDER, REEVALUATE, and REFRAME.

  • When you think you know what your partner is going to say, reconsider how your expectations may be contributing to the pattern.

  • When you are tired and cranky and snap at your partner, reevaluate if that will help or hurt.

  • When you get into an argument you just want to avoid, consider reframing it into an opportunity to get closer.


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