I remember being told to Show Not Tell in my writing class in school. I never imagined it would apply to my sex life, yet it does!
In the subject of “Keeping the Sex Dirty”, Show Not Tell is all about refraining from the temptation to just announce you want to have sex or to ask for it directly.
Show Not Tell is all about SEDUCTION.
Saying to your partner… “Let’s have sex” is NOT a seduction.
Get Curious About Your Partner’s Buttons
There are certain words that turn your partner on.
There is a way of touching them that they can’t resist. (I knew one man who would just MELT if his partner put her hands through his hair.)
I could write about a dozen different ways to seduce your partner, but everyone is different.
Don’t try to figure it out based on some “Top Ten Turn Ons” list written by a stranger. How do they know what your partner likes?
Get curious about your partner’s buttons. Not the ones that trigger them – you likely know those all too well. What are the magic open-sesame buttons that when pushed have your partner first melt then get revved up.
Find out in advance by asking, experimenting and by using clear communication. Then just do what you know they love, (even though that may change in moment – so pay attention to those cues and ask questions along the way).
Stay present to what is well received and what gets shrugged off or worse pushed away.
Ask, test, adjust, repeat.