Think of all the places in life we look at what went well, what we loved and what could have worked better.
We’re nearly constantly assessing how things went and making adjustments for an even better future. There is even a term for it – EBI’s – Even Better Ifs.
So why not bring some of that wisdom to your sex life? Why not have a recap of how it went. Learn from your love!
Romp Recap to the Rescue
A Romp Recap is a casual, comfortable check in (usually with specific elements to measure) about how your sexy-time experience was the last time you got it on.
The Romp Recap is all about making the discussion of how your last “sexy-time-session” went as normal and relaxed as it is to talk about where you went for dinner, or what movie you saw.
Remove All The Negativity, Blame & Shame
Where to Start
Now talking about the details of your sex life might be more challenging for some than others.
So we have a few key recommendations to make it easier.
Note that the Romp Recap is not IMMEDIATELY after “sexy-time.” THAT is the Post Orgasmic Chill (aka the Post-Sex-Pause – more on that tip on this week’s Live Hangout Show).
First be sure to remove any negativity, blame or shame (which could quickly shut your beloved down instead of opening them up) by applying the paradoxical formula…
All Is Well + Even Better If = Best-Eva-Sexy-Time
Know that if you and your beloved can let go of there being anything wrong or that needs fixing and just love your sex life exactly where it is while at the same time being able to talk about and lean into how “sexy-time” can be even better, then you have a recipe for “Best-Eva-Sexy-Time.”
Focus on How It Could Be Even Better If
Measure What Matters
Start with the compliments. Say what felt great and what your favorite part was.
Then share how it might be even better. Just be sure you say what you DO want, not what you don’t want.
What NOT to say: “We do the same thing again and again. You’re so predictable.”
Instead say: “I’d love to mix it up a bit next time and try ______.”
And if you pick three meaningful elements to measure that really matter to your sexlife then the feedback you get can get really fun!
Our 3 suggested areas to “score” (Feel free to make up your own too!) are:
Intimacy – How connected do you feel?
Sexiness – How HAWT is it?
Technique – How ’bout those skills?
Note: The score is about what we give US together and the total experience overall, not scoring our partner’s performance.
Don’t Let The Default Creep In
After nearly a decade together Raj and I are truly discovering the limitless well of this powerful passionate expression.
We have a commitment to score a “triple-double” with a score of 10 across all three measures at least once every 90 days – and we are exceeding that goal!
This kind of post sex review can really rev you up for the next time and even get that next time started NOW!
Don’t let the default creep in. Get proactive about being passionate! Have a Romp Recap and guarantee you get to enjoy “Best-Eva-Sexy-Time”.
And Remember…Keep the Fights Clean & the Sex Dirty and Save Being Nasty for Your Sex Life!
Your Partners in a P3 Relationship,