NOW What?! The storm has passed. The fight is over. You survived.NOW what?!You may want to forget about the fight that just happened and “move on”, however, as they say, those who do not learn from history are DOOMED TO REPEAT THEMSELVES.So HOW do you lean into the lessons?After an argument, don’t just get PAST it, get the MOST out of it!
Logic Will Get You NOWHERE. When you’re in an argument with your beloved and in the heat of it, LOGIC, REASON & PROBLEM SOLVING won’t do you very much good AT ALL.They can even be like gasoline to a fire – EXPLOSIVE!
I Was JUST About To Do It! Do you CRINGE when your beloved asks you to do something that you were JUST about to do? For some reason it can be INFURIATING!So what do you do?
Things Can Get Nasty. You’re in the thick of it. You’ve felt the tension building. Now suddenly it’s a free-for-all.Triggers, reactions and emotions are flying high.Maybe you even sink to resorting to the no-holds-barred manner of relating. And it’s off the races to who is right, who’s wrong, who’s the victim or who’s the oppressor.
The Storm Has Passed. OK the storm has passed. The fight is over. NOW what?You may want to forget about the fight that just happened, however, as they say, those who do not learn from history are DOOMED TO REPEAT THEMSELVES.
All Too Quickly The Claws Came Out. We had just arrived at one of our favorite restaurants, in one of our favorite cities (Wild Ginger in downtown Seattle), and for seemingly NO reason and certainly no GOOD reason, we started to get short with each other.
It WASN’T AWESOME. Raj and I really STRUGGLED in the first few years of our relationship. It was not playful, peaceful or passionate. It was PAINFUL. There was a lot of conflict, drama, tears and even more than a few holes punched in the wall. It was so rough that AT OUR ENGAGEMENT PARTY, a dear friend pulled us aside and said “Really? I don’t think you should do this. It looks pretty messy from here.”
NAGGING SUCKS! I know. It’s like fingernails on the chalkboard. It’s so grating, you don’t even want to think about it.No matter if you are doing the nagging or being nagged – it simply sucks. NO ONE likes it!
We all grew up with the 3 Rs, the foundation of learning…reading, writing and arithmetic. I always found it odd that the Education community choose to call it the three Rs when only one actually starts with an R?!, but yes, they are the core skills needed to succeed in school.
Raj and I are all about taking a lighter approach to ending conflict and increasing intimacy.We know that bringing play to every part of our relationship, even our conflicts, has been the single quickest, most effective, always-have-it-on-you solution to any of our relationship unrest.
A P3 RELATIONSHIP IS POSSIBLE
Relationships – they’re not all fun and games – but they sure do help!