How to Keep the Fights Clean & the Sex Dirty

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Save Being Nasty For Your Sex Life!

We are quite human. And life is plenty stressful. We get tired, frustrated and who hasn’t been “hangry” at one time or another. But when you let yourself “lose it”, you lose love, respect, connection and ultimately your relationship itself. Imagine knowing how to end an argument before it begins, how to stop a fight before it gets ugly and how to turn upsets into opportunities.

These articles are our humble offerings of our best tips, tools, strategies, and stories to support you in becoming a Fantastic Fighter so you can keep the Fights Clean and the Sex Dirty.” And save the being nasty for your sex life! 

An End to Often, Extreme & Long Lasting Fights

NOW What?! The storm has passed. The fight is over. You survived. NOW what?! You may want to forget about the fight that just happened and “move on”, however, as they say, those who do not learn from history are DOOMED TO REPEAT THEMSELVES. So HOW do you lean into the lessons? After an argument, don’t just get PAST it, get the MOST out […]

How To Pull Your Argument Escape Hatch

Logic Will Get You NOWHERE When you’re in an argument with your beloved and in the heat of it, LOGIC, REASON & PROBLEM SOLVING won’t do you very much good AT ALL. They can even be like gasoline to a fire – EXPLOSIVE! In a split second, it can be off-to-the-races and pretty quickly DEVOLVE into ugly rants that go […]

How to Avoid Argument On-Ramps

I Was JUST About To Do It! Do you CRINGE when your beloved asks you to do something that you were JUST about to do? For some reason it can be INFURIATING! So what do you do? You could SNAP at them and say “I was JUST about to do it! Get off my back! You’re so controlling!” You COULD. Although it WON’T […]

Identify & Eliminate “Friction Factors”

Things Can Get Nasty You’re in the thick of it. You’ve felt the tension building. Now suddenly it’s a free-for-all. Triggers, reactions and emotions are flying high. Maybe you even sink to resorting to the no-holds-barred manner of relating. And it’s off the races to who is right, who’s wrong, who’s the victim or who’s the oppressor. Things can get nasty, even ugly and […]

How to Turn Breakdowns Into Breakthroughs

The Storm Has Passed OK the storm has passed. The fight is over. NOW what? You may want to forget about the fight that just happened, however, as they say, those who do not learn from history are DOOMED TO REPEAT THEMSELVES. A teacher once told me “Experience can be expensive. Just make sure you get what you paid for.” Meaning […]

Tame Triggers & Unhook, Even In the Heat Of It

All Too Quickly The Claws Came Out We had just arrived at one of our favorite restaurants, in one of our favorite cities (Wild Ginger in downtown Seattle), and for seemingly NO reason and certainly no GOOD reason, we started to get short with each other. Then snippy. And all too quickly the claws came out. I was thinking (in a […]

Introducing FCSD TV

It WASN’T AWESOME Raj and I really STRUGGLED in the first few years of our relationship. It was not playful, peaceful or passionate. It was PAINFUL. There was a lot of conflict, drama, tears and even more than a few holes punched in the wall. It was so rough that AT OUR ENGAGEMENT PARTY, a dear friend pulled us aside and […]

Nip Nagging in the Bud

NAGGING SUCKS! I know. It’s like fingernails on the chalkboard. It’s so grating, you don’t even want to think about it. No matter if you are doing the nagging or being nagged – it simply sucks. NO ONE likes it! And no matter who is doing the nagging, it will completely suck any play, peace and passion out of your relationship. QUICK. No […]

The 3 Rs of a Rocking Relationship

We all grew up with the 3 Rs, the foundation of learning…reading, writing and arithmetic. I always found it odd that the Education community choose to call it the three Rs when only one actually starts with an R?!, but yes, they are the core skills needed to succeed in school. Still, what about the core skills needed to succeed […]

The Hot & Bothered Back Seat Driver

Raj and I are all about taking a lighter approach to ending conflict and increasing intimacy. We know that bringing play to every part of our relationship, even our conflicts, has been the single quickest, most effective, always-have-it-on-you solution to any of our relationship unrest. Let’s take the all too common argument about driving. Nearly every couple we have ever spoken to […]