How to Keep the Fights Clean & the Sex Dirty

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Save Being Nasty For Your Sex Life!

We are quite human. And life is plenty stressful. We get tired, frustrated and who hasn’t been “hangry” at one time or another. But when you let yourself “lose it”, you lose love, respect, connection and ultimately your relationship itself. Imagine knowing how to end an argument before it begins, how to stop a fight before it gets ugly and how to turn upsets into opportunities.

These articles are our humble offerings of our best tips, tools, strategies, and stories to support you in becoming a Fantastic Fighter so you can keep the Fights Clean and the Sex Dirty.” And save the being nasty for your sex life! 

Stop. Shift. Start

All Too Quickly The Claws Came Out We had just arrived at one of our favorite restaurants, in one of our favorite cities (Wild Ginger in downtown Seattle), and for seemingly NO reason and certainly no GOOD reason, we started to get short with each other. Then snippy. And all too quickly the claws came out. I was thinking (in […]

RFG Quick Tip Video Clip #1 – “Give ‘Em A Game to Play”

Stale, Predictable & Boring One of the most common complaints we hear when someone is unsatisfied with their sex-life with their beloved is that it can, little by little, get stale, predictable, and some even say, boring. Which sucks because that leads to you having less and less sexy-time and becoming more and more separate and ultimately even roommate like. Not […]

RFG Quick Tip Video Clip #1 – “The Problem is The Path”

Things Can Get Nasty You’re in the thick of it. You’ve felt the tension building. Now suddenly it’s a free-for-all. Triggers, reactions and emotions are flying high. Maybe you even sink to resorting to the no-holds-barred manner of relating. And it’s off the races to who is right, who’s wrong, who’s the victim or who’s the oppressor. Things can get nasty, even ugly and […]

Argument Even-Better-If-ing

Move On or Move FORWARD? That was NO fun at all! Arguing rarely is, right? It might have even gotten a little ugly there for a moment too. Yet you made it to the other side. Or did you? Now that the fight is “over,” if you’re like most people, you’re just glad it’s over, grateful you managed to get through […]

6 Little Words to Save A So-So Moment From Turning So, So Ugly

A Big, Ugly Fight – Over Nothing! A few years ago, Raj & I got into a big, ugly fight. Over NOTHING! He had been having a heavy load of technology hurdles (our 2nd greatest contributor to an argument emerging, right after #1, which is getting hangry), and was feeling quite stressed, frustrated and distracted. I was about to leave […]

The Noose of Negativity & The Drama-Free Diet

The Noose of Negativity Negativity is the 2nd WORST thing that you can do to harm your relationship (More on #1 here). Indulge in negativity and you are putting a noose around your relationship’s neck! It’s not the big things that bring a relationship down, rather, it’s the day-to-day dynamic between you and your beloved that will determine the success of […]

The Shared Relationship Vision Exercise

The Squeaky Wheel The squeaky wheel gets the grease, right? That’s why we tend to NOT give our relationship much attention until it DEMANDS it from us. How squeaky does YOUR relationship wheel have to get before you to DO SOMETHING? Designed for Delight? Now what would it be like to put an END to WAITING for problems to surface, THEN dissecting the […]

An End to Often, Extreme & Long Lasting Fights

NOW What?! The storm has passed. The fight is over. You survived. NOW what?! You may want to forget about the fight that just happened and “move on”, however, as they say, those who do not learn from history are DOOMED TO REPEAT THEMSELVES. So HOW do you lean into the lessons? After an argument, don’t just get PAST it, get the MOST out […]

How To Pull Your Argument Escape Hatch

Logic Will Get You NOWHERE When you’re in an argument with your beloved and in the heat of it, LOGIC, REASON & PROBLEM SOLVING won’t do you very much good AT ALL. They can even be like gasoline to a fire – EXPLOSIVE! In a split second, it can be off-to-the-races and pretty quickly DEVOLVE into ugly rants that go […]

How to Avoid Argument On-Ramps

I Was JUST About To Do It! Do you CRINGE when your beloved asks you to do something that you were JUST about to do? For some reason it can be INFURIATING! So what do you do? You could SNAP at them and say “I was JUST about to do it! Get off my back! You’re so controlling!” You COULD. Although it WON’T […]